Lately, my thoughts eating me alive
Laid in the bed
Thinkin' maybe the hate'll finally go away if I'm not alive
Wish I didn't listen
Sanderlei Silveira - 22/02/2024 11:37 - US X
Lately, my thoughts eating me alive
Laid in the bed
Thinkin' maybe the hate'll finally go away if I'm not alive
Wish I didn't listen
Just like I wish they would understand me one time
I had a breakdown and tatted my entire body except one line
Everything's just fine
(Slippin' again) There I go, slippin' again, I'm actin' different again
I see my family's reflection
Every time I look in the cup and I sip it again
(After this ends) Tell me, after all this ends
Will I be mentioned again? Why do I care?
If in the end, it's just me and God, like I'm Christian again (Yeah)
(Slim, bring the beat in)
Before my dad left this Earth
He made sure I took on every quality I didn't want
I was supposed to die at birth
Gave me a chance and I fucked it up, give me another one (Mm)
I've been runnin' from
Secrets I hid as a kid and I never confronted 'em
I just called ma, said I forgive her
For not bein' there when I needed one
[Chorus]
I'm comin' back, just let me go
I'm comin' back, just let me go, yeah
I'm comin' back, just let me go
I'm comin' back, don't let me go
[Verse 2]
Who am I when the music stops?
And the character that I been playin'
Is really just broken and fuckin' lost?
I swear, I've been tellin' you
Over and over again in all of these songs
But they don't hear nothin' I'm writin'
Cause they're too busy tryna write me off
And they go on and on and on
It's funny, 'cause if we just sat and talked
You'd see that it's just hard for me to be vulnerable
Cause I blocked it off
I got trust issues, growin' up
No one was there to hear what I thought
My heart was broken like my ribs as a kid
When me and my father fought (Yeah)
I'm medicating with something that I cannot pronounce
But it's what the doctor gave me
Rehab patient, with a pen and some paper (Mm)
This psychiatrist keeps evaluating
How can I live with the fact
That my hand wasn't on her stomach when we lost the baby?
I don't got no one to turn to
Cause everyone's dead in my life that was tryna raise me
Searchin' for someone to tell me who I really am
I don't know when I look in the mirror
Constantly dreadin' the day
That the audience might not be screaming for me anymore
The feeling of dying alone
And not leaving anything behind is my biggest fear
Kiss the person that I love
As if I'm never coming back after I leave out the door
[Chorus]
I'm comin' back, just let me go (Feelin' like)
I'm comin' back, just let me go, yeah
I'm comin' back, just let me go
I'm comin' back, don't let me go (Mm)
I'm comin' back, just let me go (Mm)
I'm comin' back, just let me go, yeah (Mm)
I'm comin' back, just let me go (Mm)
I'm comin' back, don't let me go
So'nggi paytlarda men o'zimning fikrlarim meni tirik eding
To'shakda yotqizilgan
Agar men tirik qolmasam, ehtimol, nafrat bor
Men tinglamadim
Xuddi meni bir marta tushunishlarini istardim
Men bir qatordan tashqari butun tanamni buzib tashladim
Hamma narsa juda yaxshi
(Slippin »yana) men yana boraman, Slippin yana men harakatlanaman
Men oilamni aks ettiraman
Har safar kubokga qaraganimda va uni yana aylantiraman
(Bu tugashdan keyin) menga ayting, bu tugashdan keyin
Meni yana eslatib o'tadimi? Nega men g'amxo'rlik qilaman?
Agar oxirida, men Masihiyman, chunki men yana Masihiyman (ha)
(Yupqa, kaltakni olib keling)
Dadam bu erni tark etishidan oldin
U men istamagan har bir fazilatni qabul qilganimga amin qildi
Men tug'ilishda o'lishim kerak edi
Menga imkoniyat berdi va men uni siqdim, boshqasini beraman (mm)
Men yugurishmadim
Men Sirlar bolaligida yashirdim va men hech qachon duch kelmaganman
Men hozirgina MA, dedi men uni kechirdim
Menga bittasi kerak bo'lganda
[Xor]
Men qaytib keldim, shunchaki ketaylik
Men qaytib keldim, shunchaki meni qo'yib yuboring, ha
Men qaytib keldim, shunchaki ketaylik
Men qaytib keldim, meni qo'yib yubormang
[2-oyat]
Musiqa qachon to'xtaganda kimman?
Va men playin bo'lgan qahramon
Haqiqatan ham buzilgan va fuckin yo'qolganmi?
Qasam ichaman, men sizlarni aytdim
Bu qo'shiqlarning barchasida yana va yana
Ammo ular "men yozyapman" deb eshitishmaydi
Chunki ular juda band bo'lgan tren menga yozing
Va ular davom etadilar va davom etadilar
Bu juda kulgili, - agar biz o'tirsak va gaplashsak
Siz meni zaif bo'lish men uchun juda qiyin
Sababi uni to'sib qo'ydim
Men ishonaman, o'chib qoldim
Men nima deb o'ylaganimni eshitish uchun hech kim yo'q edi
Mening yuragim bolamga o'xshardi
Meni va otam bilan kurashganida (ha)
Men biron bir talaffuz qila olmaydigan narsa bilan davolanaman
Ammo shifokor menga bergan narsa
Rabbeli bemor, qalam va ba'zi qog'oz bilan (mm)
Ushbu psixiatr baholashni davom ettiradi
Qanday qilib men haqiqat bilan yashay olaman
Kichkintoyni yo'qotganimizda qo'lim uning oshqozonida emasmi?
Menda murojaat qiladigan hech kim yo'q
Hayotimda barchaning o'lishiga olib keladi
Men kim ekanligimni aytadigan kimdir uchun qidiruv
Men oynaga qaraganimni bilmayman
Doim Dreadin kuni
Tomoshabinlar endi men uchun qichqiramasliklari mumkin
Yolg'iz o'lish hissi
Va orqada hech narsa qoldirmaslik - bu mening eng katta qo'rquvim
Men sevgan odamni o'paman
Go'yo men eshikni tark etganimdan keyin hech qachon qaytib kelmayman
[Xor]
Men qaytib keldim, shunchaki menga o'xshayman (his qilaman)
Men qaytib keldim, shunchaki meni qo'yib yuboring, ha
Men qaytib keldim, shunchaki ketaylik
Men qaytib keldim, meni qo'yib yubormang (mm)
Men qaytib keldim, shunchaki ketaylik (mm)
Men qaytib keldim, shunchaki ketsam, ha (mm)
Men qaytib keldim, shunchaki ketaylik (mm)
Men qaytib keldim, meni qo'yib yubormang